Online Dating Profile Check-Up Sample

Online Dating Check-Up Questionnaire completed by member:

Member’s Concerns:

I am concerned that my dates are just using me to have a good time and have fun.  I wonder if they are more interested in what I can give them than in me.  It’s hard for me to trust them when I’m not sure of their motives, and I’m afraid they will disappear after date #1 or 2.

Member’s Dating Patterns/Experiences:

I always seem to get a few dates and then they drop out.  I am looking for a commitment and I’m really clear about it in my profile.  But I’m wondering if I’m just a ticket to free dinner or something.

Original Self-Description:

I am very sensitive and have a huge heart.  I am humble and integrous.  I always keep my word, my word is gold.  I love to spoil my partner and treat you like royalty.  I’m looking for a genuine partner who is looking for commitment.  Please no casual interests, no drama, and please be open to being a step parent.  I have great kids, and they deserve the best.  One of my favorite activities is to take my lover out on my boat, read poetry to each other and sip champagne.  It’s romantic watching the sunrise, and sometimes even dolphins come out.:

 

Online Dating Check-Up Report from Love Breakthrough:

Diagnosis:

Profile Highlights (Positives on your profile):

You’ve done a good job of making certain things clear: the type of relationship you want (committed), and that you know how important it is to treat a partner well and that you’re happy to do that.  You have a lot of specifics which will make you stand out – particularly memorable is the description of watching the sunrise and dolphins from your boat.

Profile Breakthrough Opportunities:

Your comments that you have a big heart, that you are integrous, and that you keep your word may come across as defensive.  While you may be concerned that your matches trust you, kindness, integrity, and honesty are traits that are better proven through multiple encounters.  Anyone can say they are honest, but it’s more powerful to show it.  Furthermore, kindness, integrity, and honesty are basic traits that all healthy adults should have.  They are not the traits that make you most unique.  Consider actions you’ve been known for that aren’t common, and write those in.
Your mentioning “spoiling” your partner, and then mentioning you own a boat may indicate to your matches that you are especially wealthy.  While that’s wonderful to offer to someone special, it may make you prey to those who would use you for your money and possessions.  Consider writing that you love to be on “a” boat, and emphasize specific ways you’d treat a mate well that don’t involve material goods.  For instance, how would you treat your mate if they had a rough day?  What would you say and do?

Addressing Your Concerns:

You’ve mentioned trust and trust-related words – both words that convey wanting to prove that you are trustworthy, and then mentioning your concern that you have a hard time trusting your matches.  You may consider paying more attention to your “intuition” – do you get a good or bad gut feeling about your communication exchanges, for example?

Addressing Your Patterns:

Instead of focusing on what you can give your dates, perhaps focus on getting to know them as a person and showing them who you are as a person. So really take the focus off what you can give and place it on who you are, what you’re thinking, what you believe.  And listen and pay attention to who they are, what they’re talking about, and what they’re looking for in a relationship.